The Tour Guide Anxiety
by Han Ji Eun
Summary: AU. Sheldon's still in Germany. He's asked to show a colleague's friend's family the sights.
1. Prologue

Title: The Tour Guide Anxiety

Spoilers: None that I can think of. AU (Takes place when Sheldon is still in Germany)

Rating: PG (for now;might go up to PG-13)

Word Count: ~592

Disclaimer: I don't own TBBT. But I do own a copy of "The Idiot's Guide to String Theory"

Author's Notes: Sheldon is still in Germany (even though he might have left before he turned 17; can't remember/honestly don't know). Penny is also 17.

Title might change.

Enjoy!

~*~

Sheldon looked around his office. Two more weeks he thought. Then it will be back to Texas. A return to an environment that was intellectually below himself. But on the positive side, it also will be a return to Mom's home cooking, he thought enthusiastically. The sausage fest got old after a month. But his habits got the better of him and he insisted on sausage for dinner Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Naturally, he had a particular type of sausage that corresponded with each of those aforementioned days.

Knock. Knock.

"Come in."

"Mr. Cooper, an old friend of mine just arrived a few hours ago from Nebraska and I was wondering if you could show him around?" asked an older woman in a tweed suit and oversized glasses adorned with rhinestones.

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "You know as well as I do that I cannot not be trusted with that task."

She grinned mischievously, "He's come with his family. "

"So?" he nonchalantly asked as he looked back to the thick textbook on his desk.

"He has a 17 year old daughter. I've heard that she is very pretty. On the taller side, and blonde hair. She's your age, so I'm sure that you two will get along."

"Ask someone else for the job." Sheldon replied with a wave of the hand. "I highly doubt that she is of the same intellectual capacity. Therefore I fear that I cannot and will not get along. I have neither the time nor the patience to waste on wooing a girl."

"But Mr. Cooper. You'll be leaving Germany in two weeks. And I do not think that even you have seen all the sights. It will be an educational experience for both you and the Nylund* family."

"All the more reason as to why I cannot be a tour guide. I fear I will only disappoint your friend and his family."

"I'll tell them to meet you here tomorrow at 10am. Good day, Sheldon." She grinned as she gleefully exited the room. She ducked her back in once more.

"Oh, and I never said anything about wooing a girl." She cheekily added before she ran off before he could rebut.

Sheldon was left to glare at the spot in which she had stood.

000

The next day Sheldon woke up an hour earlier than usual. Knowing that he needed that extra hour, he tried in vain to return to sleep.

"If I'm less than par today, I'll never forgive the gods of slumber," he muttered angrily as he stepped into the shower.

After he stepped out of the shower, he donned his robe once again and walked into his room. It was his day off—yet another reason he was peeved to be the tour guide to this so-called "friend" of his colleague and his family which included a 17 year old daughter—so he traded trousers for jeans and a dress shirt with tie for his Flash t-shirt with a long-sleeved shirt underneath.

He walked into the bathroom and looked at his appearance in the mirror.

"Interesting…I thought I shaved better than that yesterday…" he mused as he felt the fine stubble underneath his fingertips.

"Better shave better today because you know you're about to meet a pretty lady," said a mischievous voice said out of nowhere in the back of his head.

"Shut up," he barked as he pulled out his electric razor and started to shave.

"I think I've been eating too much sausage."

~*~

Author's Note: Comments? Questions? I apologize if the voice in Sheldon's head was a little too OOC.

*Taken from the TV character "Rose Nylund" from "The Golden Girls" (which I've been watching way too much as of late; I don't own "The Golden Girls" either, which means that I don't own that name…).

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 1

Title: The Tour Guide Anxiety

Spoilers: None that I can think of. AU (Takes place when Sheldon is still in Germany)

Rating: PG (for now;might go up to PG-13)

Word Count: ~1,295

Disclaimer: I don't own TBBT. But I do own a copy of _The Complete Idiot's Guide to String Theory_

Chapter 1

Sheldon took one last look in the bathroom mirror before he grabbed his messenger bag. He took out a pencil from his bag and stood up against a door panel where he had recorded the rest of his growth spurts.

"Another inch and that makes 6'2"," he muttered as recorded the new height in a notebook entitled "The Growth Patterns of Sheldon Cooper." He had grown eight inches since he came to Germany.

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Knock. Knock.

"Come in," said Sheldon, looking up from the comic book he was reading. In walked his colleague, Mrs. Schrader and, who he assumed to be her friend, Mr. Nylund.

Sheldon didn't move until Mrs. Schrader motioned that he should stand up. He stood up awkwardly.

"Unfortunately, the rest of Mr. Nylund's family will not be able to come on the tour today," she said.

"Okay."

"My daughter has a slight cold and my wife would not allow her out," Mr. Nylund said. Sheldon's face paled and he exchanged a frightful look with Mrs. Schrader. She hurriedly walked over to his side.

"Don't worry, boy, I don't think he's contagious!" she whispered loudly. Mr. Nylund raised an eyebrow and gave him a dirty look.

"He's a bit of a germaphobe. It's one of his…many…quirks," she explained to Mr. Nylund.

"Then why did you volunteer me to give a tour if I had many 'quirks'?" Sheldon asked.

"Because, would you really want me to ask Mr. Grenhaus in the Engineering Department?!" she replied in a loud whisper.

"Is that a rhetorical question, Mrs. Schrader? If it isn't, no, because he's not exactly the most trustworthy candidate."

"Yes, boy, it was a rhetorical question! Do you think I would really allow Grenhaus to show a family around the city?"

"Why do you keep calling me boy?"

"Because, boy, you are 17!"

"He's seventeen?!" gaped Mr. Nylund. The two others stopped whispering.

"Yes, and I already have a PhD--" Mrs. Schrader cut him off before he could say something condescending.

"I figured he could relate to your family more than any other colleagues of mine," she quickly said.

"You do know that I have a daughter of the same age?"

"Yes," they both responded. Mr. Nylund looked at Sheldon with suspicion.

"No need to worry about that, Nylund, for I, as well as the rest of the department, fear he might be asexual."

"What?!" Sheldon sputtered.

"Well, the general consensus thinks that you might overdose on bratwurst one day and you will split into two."

Mr. Nylund just looked dumbstruck.

"That is absolutely preposterous!"

"No, boy, it's possibly the only other way your DNA might live to see another generation."

"But I have a twin sister!"

"But it would still be amusing to find out that your offspring formed by mitosis is somewhat normal and in need of physical contact and, dare I say, physical intimacy."

"By Jove, if that's what might happen if this wunderkind spawns another helping of himself, I'd prefer if that didn't happen," Mr. Nylund quipped half-sarcastically.

"Well," said Mrs. Schrader throwing her hands in the air, "you can make that decision after your day with this 'wunderkind.' Personally, I think you're going to change your mind. And then, depending on that, you may or may not be happy to know that he'll be another university's problem again when he returns to Texas in two weeks."

"Quite frankly, once less boy going after my daughter is a lot better than one more boy."

"Well, I was hoping they would meet."

"What?!"

"He's harmless!"

"I would appreciate it if this topic was discussed when I am not present." Sheldon announced.

"So then," said Mr. Nylund looking at Sheldon, "let's go."

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"But Mom!" Penny cried out before coughing again.

"I said no," her mother sternly responded, "you can go out tomorrow if you're feeling better."

"I'm fine!"

"No you're not, missy. You haven't stopped coughing since the sun came up and your nose has more mucus than you have clothes, so no arguing!"

Penny slumped back into her bed. Great, not even 24 hours in Europe and it's awful.

"Besides, do you really want to get some cute, European boy sick?" asked her mother, grinning.

Penny stared at her astonished. "Penelope, I might be decades older than you, but I was a teenage girl once. And don't think I didn't hear your conversation the other night over the phone to Becky about how you couldn't wait to meet a cute, European boy with an accent to die for."

"Mom!"

Her mother giggled, "Oh to be 17 again."

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"So, you eat here often?" asked Mr. Nylund as they stepped into a restaurant for lunch.

"Yes," said Sheldon after telling the waiter that he wanted his usual times two.

"I suppose it's good then?"

"It's quite good. And its sanitary conditions are exemplary."

"I guess she wasn't kidding when she said you were a germaphobe."

"Not at all. I like to avoid getting ill as much as possible. The last time I was sick, the lady who somewhat took care of me didn't speak any English. And whatever she said to me, I somewhat translated to 'Do you want an enema?'. Before that, my mother took care of me."

"Did your mother come with you to Germany?"

"What mother would let her 15 year old son go to a foreign country to be a visiting professor?"

Mr. Nylund almost spit out his drink. "You're a visiting professor?!"

"Yes."

"By golly, my daughter's just finishing high school!"

"I went to college at 11."

"You're kidding me!"

"I am most certainly not. My twin sister, on the other hand, like your daughter is also just finishing high school."

"Well that's something!"

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"So, how was your day?" asked Penny's mom when her Mr. Nylund returned to the hotel. Penny was lying on her side, facing away from them. She was feigning sleep.

"Well, we saw some of the sights. We didn't get to see everything, so I've arranged another meeting with him for the day after tomorrow."

"How is he?"

"Sheldon? Quirky doesn't even begin to describe him. But he's got a childlike quality to him. He almost doesn't realize what his words imply. He'll say something about his intellectual prowess, but not understand that it's a little off-putting. If he wasn't such a good tour guide—even though he admitted that he hadn't done much sight seeing before today—I don't think I could have been around him for as long as I was. But he is making stuff up about his intelligence; he's incredibly smart. How's Penny?"

"Still a bit under the weather. But I think the day in did her some good."

"Well that's good."

"So, what else can you tell me about the tour guide?"

"He's 17."

"Really?! That's wonderful!"

"A very unusual 17 year old."

"Then, isn't that even better?"

"Sure…"

"What does he look like?"

"Did you and my daughter switch bodies or something?"

"No, of course not."

Penny smiled.

"So, what does he look like?" Penny's mother asked again.

"He's tall, quite skinny, dark hair, blue eyes…" her father said, "and he has a bit of an accent that sometimes shows up. Most of the time it's hidden, but it's interesting when it does."

Penny gasped. Could he secretly be a European model?! She thought excitedly. The various scenarios were running through her head at light speed.

"Something wrong, Penny?" asked her parents.

"No!" she squeaked and then coughed for good measure.

"Well, I'm ready to turn in for the night," said Mr. Nylund,

"Me too," agreed Mrs. Nylund, "Good night, Penny."

"Good night," she mumbled into her pillow. She didn't want them to hear her excitement.

Author's note: Because I have a lack of ability to come up with original last names, Schrader was taken from the Baroness Schrader of _Sound of Music_ fame. XD

Reviews would be wonderful :) Thanks for reading! And thank you for any reviews!

MrsVincentCrabbe: I adore Rose Nylund.


	3. Chapter 2

Title: The Tour Guide Anxiety

Spoilers: None that I can think of. AU (Takes place when Sheldon is still in Germany)

Rating: PG (for now;might go up to PG-13)

Word Count: ~1,623

Disclaimer: I don't own TBBT. But I do own a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to String Theory

Author's note: So yeah…started watching Doctor Who…because of the clip posted on the breakdown post of "The Loobenfeld Decay"…and Doctor/Rose has now driven me crazy…

Though now I really want to re-watch Seasons 1 and 2…even though I know that I'm going to end up in tears again at the end of Season 2 __

Chapter 2

The next day Sheldon stood outside his office and quietly stared at the door lock. He forgot his key. Yep, today was not going to be a good day.

"What's wrong, boy?" asked Mrs. Schrader.

"I forgot my keys."

"How did you possibly do that? Didn't you need to lock your door?"

"I installed a key pad."

"Why…? Isn't your landlord going to fine you for that?"

"I can make it disappear before I leave."

"But why?"

"Because I wanted to."

"You need to get a life."

"I do have a life. A perfectly good life."

"Right," she said unconvinced, "so, what do you plan to do?"

"Is there a locksmith around?"

"Unfortunately, the janitor's out today."

"Why…?" Great, he thought, now the bathrooms are going to be exceptionally unsanitary.

"Vacation. Besides, a substitute will be in around noon."

"Noon?!"

"Yes, noon. Something came up and he could only come in at noon."

"Sounds like someone imbibed a bit too much alcohol last night," he muttered to himself. Then he looked at his colleague and asked, "What am I supposed to do until then?!"

"Well, I did receive word from Mr. Nylund that his daughter is much better and ready to go out."

"No way."

"Now listen here. She is not contagious. If she's contagious, then I'm contagious! I had breakfast with them this morning."

Sheldon looked up at her in horror.

"Don't give me that look. You'll be fine. Just show them around a little, take an slightly longer lunch and be back by 1300."

"But what about my work?"

"I happen to know that you have nothing planned for the morning, so you should be okay. Anything unexpected, I can cover you."

"…"

"You can wait for them in my office."

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"Oh really? Well that would be nice. Thank you." Mr. Nylund hung up the hotel phone.

"What was that?" asked Penny.

"Turns out that Sheldon will be able to take us on a short tour this morning."

"Wonderful!" said his wife. Penny grabbed a couple of clothes, a toiletry bag and ran into the bathroom.

"Oh boy…" groaned her father. Her mother placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't worry, we'll be there the whole time. And if he's completely the same way as you described him, then well, we should have no problem."

"I just hope that Penny doesn't get too disappointed."

"Ready!" exclaimed Penny coming out of the bathroom.

"Well, it could be worse," muttered her father as he surmised her outfit choice of skinny jeans, red buttoned down skirt, and ballet flats.

"What?" Penny asked when she caught his look. He shrugged.

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"So where's our tour guide?" Mr. Nylund asked after pleasantries had been exchanged.

"Here I am," said Sheldon dryly from a corner. He was sitting in an apple green, circular chair and he was reading a comic book. The three Nylunds spun around to face him. Mr. Nylund was smiling. Mrs. Nylund was grinning. And Penny, well, she was shocked.

Sheldon stood up and Penny was shocked at his height. She looked up at him. Her father didn't lie, for he really was everything that he described. But he was nothing like the European model she had dreamt about. His slightly Texas accent chased away her dashing image of a German supermodel that had a secret affection for theoretical physics. And Sheldon was also a little too awkward in his lanky frame. Maybe he would grow out of it. Or maybe he would remain in his larval state forever.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her mother introducing himself to Sheldon. After shaking her hand, Sheldon turned to Penny. He looked her over, but not in the way other guys did. It seemed like he was studying her…for a science experiment or something.

"Penny Nylund," she said as she stuck out her hand.

Sheldon looked warily at the hand. He looked at Mrs. Schraeder and she gave him a stern look. He cautiously shook her hand and said, "Sheldon Cooper."

"It's 10:00, I think you guys should get going," said Mrs. Schraeder, softly pushing them out the office door.

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"So, what do you do for fun?" asked Penny when they had stopped for lunch.

"I read. I study. I think," he said curtly as he took a sip of water.

"Read what?" she persisted. She and Sheldon were sitting at their own table. The only tables left to accommodate them were a couple of doubles. Her mother and father were sitting a couple of tables away.

"Physics textbooks, science fiction novels, graphic novels, comic books, the like."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "Interesting."

"That they are."

They sat in silence until Penny broke it.

"Anything else?" she asked cheerily.

"Nothing that would interest you," he said condescendingly.

"Fine, be that way," she said as she turned her face away from him. As she did, she came face to face with another teenage male.

"Hello there," he said with an American accent.

"Hi," she squeaked.

"Zach Donner, 19 years old, hailing from New York City," he said smoothly holding out his hand.

She took his hand and instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips. Penny blushed. Sheldon coughed loudly. Zack and Penny looked at him.

"A little indigestion," he said innocently. "Oh, and Penny, your parents are staring."

Penny looked back at her parents. Indeed, they were looking at the scene unfolding. Both her mother and father looked astonished.

"Oh just when I thought that she might finally go after a good boy, she goes and finds herself a Casanova," sighed her mother.

"I'd rather she just buckle down and concentrate on her studies," her father groaned.

"I guess that's the consequence of having a pretty daughter," her mother muttered.

"I'm sorry, but I must return to the university," said Sheldon when he walked over to her parents, "I will take you back with me."

Sheldon and her parents watched Penny say goodbye to that Zach Donner. Her mother looked away in order to collect her things. Mr. Nylund was busy paying the check. Sheldon was still staring in the direction of Penny and her new beau.

Sheldon's eyes flew down to his sneakers as he saw Penny approach. He fidgeted with the strap of his messenger bag. For some reason her feet seemed really interesting.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied softly while meeting her gaze. She never noticed that his eyes a lovely shade of blue.

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After the janitor had opened the door to Sheldon's office, he and the three Nylunds followed after him.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I must be returning to work," he said as he set his messenger bag on a chair in front of his desk.

"Not a problem," said Mr. Nylund about to walk out. But Mrs. Schraeder walked into the room.

"May I see you for a minute, Cooper?"

"Yes. I'm sure it's not hard to find your way out of my office," he said as he exited.

"I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll meet you by the entrance," said Mr. Nylund exiting.

"I think I'll do that too. I'll meet you at the same place, Penny. Need to use the restrooms too?" Mrs. Nylund asked.

"I'm good," she replied.

After her mother left the room, Penny quickly scurried to behind Sheldon's desk. She mischievously plopped down into his chair and started to spin it around as she picked up whaa snow globe that was sitting on the desk. "Wee…"

"What are you doing?" Penny spun around to see a curious Sheldon.

"Waiting for my parents."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to wait for them near the entrance?"

"What's wrong about waiting in this spot?"

His eyes were stern. "You're in my spot."

She looked up at him and this time responded a little more strongly. "What are you talking about?"

"Or should I describe your little invasion of privacy in the format of the board game 'Clue'? It was Penny Nylund in Sheldon's office with Penny's own body."

Penny, dumbstruck, looked at him.

"Might I ask why you're still in my spot?" he asked. She jumped up and walked towards the door.

He cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms as he blocked her path. This silly girl was getting on his nerves. But yet subconsciously he was mildly entertained.

Penny looked at her watch and feigned surprise, "Oh look at the time, I must meet up with my parents!" She started to walk out the door.

"Not so fast, Penny Nylund." She stopped dead in her tracks. His voice was lower than usual and it threw her off kilter for a second or two.

"Yes?" she gasped.

"Don't ever sit in my spot again. I'm very attached to my spot. I hope you didn't move my chair too much from its spot. It took me three hours to figure out the coordinates."

"Sure, Sheldon." She gave him a weird look. Then he walked around her as he walked over to his desk.

"Are you feeling better, Penny?" he asked out of the blue as he took his seat.

"Yes, much," replied Penny very much surprised with his newfound concern for her health. Or maybe she just imagined it.

"Good. Thank you for not infecting my office. Good day," he said, not looking at her.

She turned on her heel and sourly replied, "You're welcome. Yeah, good bye to you too."

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Thanks for reading! I apologize if it's a little bit sucky (a little preoccupied as I explained before the chapter). And remember, reviews are love!

Oh snap, I go back to school this week O.o


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